Use your lives wisely my friends and conserve these precious freedoms for future generations.

We cannot always assure the future of our friends we have a better chance of assuring our future if we remember who our friends are.

Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper our friends are true and our happiness is assured.

The key to making healthy decisions is to respect your future self. Honor him or her. Treat him or her like you would treat a friend or a loved one. A Stanford study showed that those who saw a photo of their future self made smarter financial decisions.

We all know how funny Morrissey is. Actually you know what? I say that sarcastically. His songs are some of the funniest songs I've ever heard in my life. I mean really. I mean not that the 'Girlfriend in a Coma' is like really funny.

When I was in college I was in the theater department which for anyone who has been involved in any kind of theater program you know that it's really wacky and tight-knit a real family. Me and my good friends from college would do random shows and plays that were sometimes serious but most of the time really goofy and funny.

I understand a woman who validates herself by getting attention from the opposite sex. I have a friend who is that to a T... Doesn't mean she isn't a good person. That's a funny character to play.

What was really funny is that as I got older all those guys who called me a sissy in junior high school wanted me to be their best friend because they wanted to meet all the girls that I knew in figure skating.

See I don't really go after girls. Most of the girlfriends I've had have come after me. So it's really funny when girls get offended because I don't hit on them.

I can always get better. A lot of my ex-girlfriends don't think I'm funny.

Movies these days have made killers into funny people. What's that all about? I've got kids and family and friends and I don't like bad things. I don't think they're funny and it's irresponsible to make movies that don't show you how that's not good.

Here is my prescription to heal all wounds. Watch the film 'Funny Girl' at least five times eat at least 45 chocolate bars and hang out with all those friends you blew off to hang out with your ex. I truly believe that through a combination of Nutella old pals and Barbra Streisand we can achieve happiness and very probably world peace.

Some of the writers I admire who seem very very funny and very emotional to me can develop a closeness with the reader without giving too much of themselves away. Lorrie Moore comes to mind as does David Sedaris. When they write the reader thinks that they're being trusted as a friend.

It's funny but you get to a time in your life when you think you have all the friends you will ever have.

I never smoked. I never drank and I never took drugs. The funny thing is nothing is more boring people like this. For me it's OK. But most of my friends at least they smoke and drink.

I wear black skinny-fit jeans - I can't get away from them. It's funny because I wore baggy jeans for ages then one day my friend convinced me to try on a skinny pair and I thought they were great.

Keep your sense of humor my friend if you don't have a sense of humor it just isn't funny anymore.

In my circle of friends I've always been loud and funny and talkative. But as soon as I step out of that circle I get very quiet and introspective. I don't want the spotlight on me.

As I get older all sorts of things become less funny. Once one has children any cruelty involving children becomes far less amusing than when one was at the mercy of one's friends' and relatives' children.

Trust is hard to come by. That's why my circle is small and tight. I'm kind of funny about making new friends.

I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.

I no doubt deserved my enemies but I don't believe I deserved my friends.

I loved my 17 years with R.E.M. but I'm ready to reflect assess and move on to a different phase of my life. The four of us will continue our close friendship and I look forward to hearing their future efforts as the world's biggest R.E.M. fan.

In the name of the United States and President Bush I want to thank the Mexican people President Fox and his government for their friendship.