I thought to be feminine was to give in to straight culture or the beauty standard but in my heart I had a flair for fashion and style. They were passions I kept secret because I didn't understand I could love clothes and hair and makeup and still like girls.
The first feminine feature that goes with advancing age is the neck.
I am rediscovering the whole sexual dimension of life at the age of 86 really. And that also means discovering the feminine. So the whole of this dimension which I had been seeking for a very long time is now sort of opening itself up to me.
One day it just hit me. This is it. You are not in love. So either stay in it because you have a child or be brave and find the man of your dreams and marry him for real.