I don't think women are better than men I think men are a lot worse than...
Breaking records is not something you expect to be doing. That's like a...
When I take my kids out for dinner or lunch people smile at us.
If you're a woman and a guy's ever said anything romantic to you he just...
Well when I was younger I lied all the time because once you understand...
It's a positive thing to talk about terrible things and make people laugh...
Talking is always positive. That's why I talk too much.
I grew up watching all these crazy movies European movies and stuff and I...
A lot of the struggle I had with movies is I really loved moments and tones...
I never viewed money as being 'my money' I always saw it as 'the money.' It's...
For my scale how I grew up and live my life I'm making plenty of money.
When you're a father in a marriage you sort of become the mother's...
I've met a lot of people who've lost their jobs and they still have a sense...
I wish I could know everything ever like that would be my wish - that's what...
There's no real preparing at home for stand-up. You just go and you just do it.
I don't like comedy. I like funny things. I don't like comedy. Like comedy...
When two kids are being completely berserk and they're naked and throwing...
The problem is the more famous you get the more people see you who didn't...
America's a family. We all yell at each other. It all works out.
I think you have to try and fail because failure gets you closer to what...
It's more fun to experience things when you don't know what's going to happen.
I've learned from experience that if you work harder at it and apply more...
When I was first divorced I started dating younger women and it was really...
I have a crazy amount of different jobs so the way I manage that is to not...
I'm not the guy to ask about politics. I'm a gag writer.
