Inauthenticity is endemic in American politics today. The political backrooms where I spent much of my career were just as benighted as my personal life equally crowded with shadowy strangers and compromises truths I hoped to deny. I lived not in one closet but in many.
I was always depressed growing up. There wasn't a reason for it I just was. I was sad and morose. I cried a lot I wrote a lot and I read a lot and that was how I dealt with it.