A young imagination is bold likes to make bigger leaps. It likes to well imagine that the dustbuster is a dinosaur that the computer mouse is a hotrod that the box is a cave that the rawhide is a torch... or a baton... or something.
I'd say to any woman get out of that bad relationship that's turning you into a shell of your former self. Learn from it and get out. Then wait enjoy yourself and your friends because when what you want comes along you'll spot it.