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Obama's health care plan will be written by a committee whose head John Conyers says he doesn't understand it. It'll be passed by Congress that has not read it signed by a president who smokes funded by a Treasury chief who didn't pay his taxes overseen by a Surgeon General who is obese and financed by a country that's nearly broke. What could possibly go wrong?

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I've become invested with this symbolic power. It really does transcend what I'm actually doing and what I actually deserve.