I shoplifted. I was about five years old and I took a candy from a store. We paid for three of them but I took four and I went home and cried. My mom took me back and I paid for the missing piece.
That is where the irony of the film comes off in terms of the language it employs - where he tries desperately to be a 'TV Dad ' to give advice and it's so pat it becomes ridiculous.
