There's always hope. You can lose everything else in the world but Jews never lose hope.
Focus on the mind and the soul. Read. Study. Enrol in a course of lectures....
If you've never felt that you quite got a hold of it you just feel that...
Look at our Lords disciples. One denied Him one doubted Him one betrayed Him. If our Lord couldn't have perfection how are you going to have it in city government?
